Convo
About 15 years ago I wrote a complete screenplay. Something I actually finished other than the bottle of Maker’s Mark. The story was absolute shit, but I fancied some of the dialogue and the conversations that were written between characters, especially this one. The following dialogue sample is based off of an actual conversation:
Matt
You’re wrong man.
Joe
No way…
Matt
Yes you are.
Joe
You’re wrong.
Matt
HOW can you sit there and lie?
Joe
How can you?
Matt
I’m not.
Joe
Neither am I.
Matt
But you’re point isn’t valid.
Joe
Explain.
Matt
Look, you’re basing your argument on the fact that because Streethawk was a motorcycle, it was automatically faster than Knight Rider.
Joe
Correct.
Matt
Ugh, how can you say that?
Joe
Listen forget physics, if you have them race, Streethawk would win, end of story.
Matt
No way!
Joe
Fuck you, yes way, Streethawk would kick his ASS!
Matt
Not true, if nothing else four wheels are better than two.
Joe
Yea, but…
Matt
AND Kitt was much more streamlined.
Joe
Look, with KITT we’re talking a maximum speed of 300 mph. Streethawk – 700 MINIMUM.
Matt
700? On a bike?!? Bullshit, Jesse would have been thrown at 200.
Joe
No.
Matt
Plus, when KITT went into super pursuit mode in the last season there…
Joe
WHOA, wait a minute, I’m not talking KITT with Super Pursuit Mode, I’m talking regular KITT.
Matt
Ok, but…
Joe
KITT without Super Pursuit Mode is nothing.
Matt
Yeah, well, Streethawk sucked as a defense machine, you wanna talk defense, fucking Airwolf would kick the living shit out of both of them.
Joe
Oh come ON, Blue Thunder would destroy Airwolf.
Matt
WHAT?
There is a knock at the door.
Both
Enter.
Sam
Hey I got a job!
Joe
Yeah great, sit down and settle this.
Matt
Hurry up.
Sam
What?
Joe
If KITT and Streethawk raced, who would win.
Sam
(looks at both of them) Neither, it’s a fucking TV show.
Matt
We know, but if they were real, who would be faster?
Sam
Were talking land vehicles?
Joe
Yep.
Sam
Well if we’re talking land machines there’s only one answer.
Joe
What?
Matt
Yeah, settle this.
Sam
The Delorean.
Joe
What fucking Delorean ?
Sam
The Back to the Future Delorean.
Matt
What ?
Joe
No way.
Sam
Guy, that thing went so fast it traveled through time!
Matt
Yeah, but only after it hit 88 mph, and if you remember, it could just about do that.
Joe
Fucking retard.
Sam
Are you trying to tell me that regular fucking gas packs more of a punch than plutonium?
Matt
Who said anything about GAS? Besides KITT was environmentally charged.
Joe
So was that Delorean at the end of Back to the Future. Remember that Mr. Fusion thing that he put beer and banana peels in?
Sam
Yeah but it flew then, then it’s considered an air vehicle and no longer a land machine.
Joe
Look(pause, as if he’s about to end the conversation)You’re both talking about fucking cars. The bike would kill the two.
Matt
So let me get this straight. What your basically saying is that Streethawk could beat KITT without super pursuit mode, and beat the Delorean from Back to the Future without Mr. Fusion, and without being able to fly.
Joe
Yep.
Matt
Wrong, First if we’re talking streamlined aerodynamic machine, Streethawk would throw the pilot and the Delorean had all those wires, making it, a slow machine.
Sam
Time machine.
Matt
Fuck you.
Joe
I can’t believe your backing David Hasselhoff.
Matt
Look, this isn’t about pilots, but if it WAS, Hasselhoff was better than Michael J. Fox and a million times better than that guy from Solid Gold.
Sam
Solid Gold?
Joe
Rex Smith, he drove Streethawk.
Matt
Agreed?
Sam
I guess.
Joe
Yeah.
